#shithappens – you cannot avoid it but you can learn how to deal with it – Just sharing some of me thoughts and experiances #WARNING CONTAINS OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE
Or Reyt and WELCOME – Please be patient, I’m still trying to figure this WordPress shit out and organize the site, so it’s far from perfect… Soooo this is what this site is about
But before you go any further, please note that there is a Disclaimer – I swear a lot
So for those that don’t know I’m writing a book about my own and me dads addiction, which is also “a lot fucking harder than I first thought”.
So to help develop my confidence and writing skills, I keep a daily personal private Journal. My blogs/post are quite simply a reflection based on how I am feeling or thinking at any given time.
Call it my very own personal offloading platform, a fully unfiltered version of me. #shithappens all the time, sometimes it’s not even of our own doing, it just happens this is just my way of sieving through my own shit!
The one thing that I have learned though in my colorful life is that our shit doesn’t have to define us, in fact, it can shape us into better people
This is simply me just #Havingawordwimesen
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I’m Tracey, im 48 years old, I live with my long-term partner, also affectionately known as ‘Pat the Twat’. I also have two grown-up daughters, Lauren 25 and Danielle 30.
At the beginning of the year, I think I had a mid-life crisis! well started to ‘Have a word wi me-sen‘. I’ve lived a very varied life (will share more about me as we go on in the blogs) some of it was horrific, embarrassing, exciting, rewarding some of it has been brilliant!
As well as dealing with my own addiction in my early twenties, in my thirties I found myself caring, supporting and losing my ‘Bad Ass’ dad to alcoholism.
During this time, when I couldn’t sleep, so rather than toss and turn in bed, I’d get me sen up, go downstairs, open my A4 notebook and write down all the shit that was keeping me awake. (Its fair to say there is a lot of shit in those books)
I’ve always wanted to write, but to be quite Frank ‘Im not the best at English, my grammar is crap, I like to swear, and I don’t know what im writing about most of the time’ but this writing malarkey is like a fucking itch that won’t go away. Before dad passed, many a time people have said ‘you could/should write a book’, writing a book sounds ‘Fucking brilliant doesn’t it?’.
‘Of course, it sounds brilliant’ I’ve even started writing the book (three un-edited chapters) I have the title for the book and everything! what you don’t know is I started writing the fucking thing over 12 years ago!
So, back to the mid-life crisis. don’t asked me where it came from? but I started to have some rather depressing thoughts, I’m like thinking about the fact ‘I’m 50 in two years’ thats three quarters into my life!
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel physically old, I’m fit (I swapped the fags for my trusty E-cig two years ago) I like running (well a gentle jog) but the bottom line is whilst my body is showing signs of ageing and I’ve come to accept that the ‘bastard cellulite’ aint going any where any time soon! there is still life in the ‘Old Bitch’ . I’ve been procastinating about actually doing something for years with this writing, I remind myself constently ‘when are you going to do summit?’ For my 40th I even had a tatoo saying ‘Procrastination is the thief it time’ as a reminder, and here I am eight years later, still doing the same as I have always done ‘fucking procrastinating about procrastinating’
I visulised myself being present at my fiftieth birthday party, celebrating a GREAT life, but secretly thinking to myself ‘your all gob!, you still haven’t done anything, about that book, what a fucking waste’
Bottom line is ‘I aint getting any younger’ so I have three options, I can either
Shut up – stop moaning
Put up – accept it
Or do fucking something about it
So, guys heres my attempt of blogging trying to make sense of my 48 years in preparation for me 50th and also to help get me writing that ‘Bastard book’
Normal what the fuck does normal actually mean? I googled it, this is what I got … Something that is normal is usual and ordinary, and is what people expect. (Collins Dictionary) Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. (Oxford Dictionary) So my question is if normal is about, being ordinary and conforming then …
I am not suggested that you build up a relationship with everyone that you see on the streets, or purchase a big issue every time you walk past a big issue seller (I mean how many copies of one mag can you read in one week?) navigating the homeless that we see and sometimes dodge …
For years I put the needs another man’s before my own. I lived in a deluded world where I thought that if I could make him happy, fix all their problems that I would be ok! Say what he wanted to hear, opposed to what I wanted to say, do what he wanted to do …
Basically, I was every secondary school teachers NIGHTMARE, I was a loud mouthed, gobby shit and didn’t like being told what to do. I had to question everything and challenge something I didn’t understand, like rules… And to be honest I haven’t changed much in that department.
I was glad and nervous to be leaving school. At lease at school, I knew who I was (well I thought I did). So the thought of leaving school was pretty daunting because I didn’t have a Scooby doo, what I wanted to be and who I would become.
The standard/normal sequence of leaving school / growing up, is either higher education, YTS (which is now known as an apprentice) or go to work. I did the latter, for a while, until I had sex, at 16 and got caught pregnant, giving birth at 17, so I kinda had no choice but to become a mother. 5 years later at 21 I became a mother again, however at this time I was working P/T, mainly on the fiddle.
Then at around 23, i sucombed to taking far too much amphetamine, resulting in me being sectioned at the tender age of 24. It was at this time I had to carry on what I had been doing OR #Have a word wi me sen! again I chose the latter ( I will no doubt blog more about myself but for now 24 years later here are a few of my professional achievements
You can go to my Linkedin profile to find out more about me, but below are a couple of projects I have been instrumental in setting up and am proud of, further down are some awards I have received along the way
Projects I have been involved in
Project nameAsk for Angela
May 2017 – Present
What is it?
‘Ask for Angela’ was instigated by Hayley Child, the Substance Misuse Strategy Coordinator for Lincolnshire County Council in 2016: the campaign received rave reviews from members of the public, but has also been endorsed and rolled out in other cities across the UK.
The scheme is focused on supporting those people who feel unsafe, intimidated or threatened.
Sheffield Best Bar None and Sheffield Pub Watch has teamed up with Sheffield Domestic Abuse Coordination Team (DACT) and South Yorkshire Police to launch the “Ask for Angela” in Sheffield: the aim is to reassure anyone on a night out whose evening is not going well.
How does it work?
The initiative applies to women, men, straight or LGBT + who may be on a date or on a night out but are feeling uncomfortable or even threatened. They can approach the staff of the premises they are in and use the code words “Is Angela in?” The staff will then know that the person is in need of assistance and will help to remove them from the situation and call a taxi if necessary.
The poster is a visual aid which might provide a vital life-line to someone who finds themselves in a difficult situation and can’t get out of it.
‘Hi, I’m Angela,’ the poster says. ‘Are you on a date that isn’t working out? Do you feel like you’re not in a safe situation? Is your Tinder or POF [Plenty of Fish] date not who they said they were on their profile? Does it all feel a bit weird?’
Ask for ‘Angela’ isn’t just for people on dates, there could be someone in your premises acting inappropriately, and if it’s happened to one person, there’s a good chance this has happened to others
‘If you go to the bar and ask for ‘Angela’ the bar staff will know you need some help getting out of your situation and will call you a taxi or help you out discreetly – without too much fuss.’
BBN is providing FREE training by Sheffield’s commissioned Domestic Abuse Services and will provide the resources needed to promote in premises
Project nameHelp us Help – Sheffield begging Campaign
Sep 2016 – Present
• Developing and chairing a multiagency working group in the city center responding to ASB, Vulnerable and complex needs within the city centre. The groups approach is to coordinate support and interventions to meet the safeguarding and support needs of individuals of concern and respond to identified individuals Anti-Social Behaviour within the city centre – part of this work was creating an Anti-Begging Campaign for Sheffield See project Help us Help – Sheffield begging Campaign See project
Project namePutting it into words – Video for families affected by drugs
honor titleEuropean Drugs Prevention award for participatory and innovation work in prevention
honor date2004 honor issuerCouncil of Europe
honor descriptionImproving the quality of life of young people through active participation, youth empowerment, community development, access to other health related agencies and increased opportunities for education, training, employment and volunteering.