Insight into my journey so far

 

Morning guys

I hadn’t intended on doing a post on here this morning, because I have been working on #havingawordwimesen and writing in my personal journal. But then I started to read back to where this all started and thought I would / could share one of my very earliest journal entries with you.

Im doing this, just to highlight how ‘fucked’ up sometimes our heads can take us and I’m looking back laughing right now (though at the time I was pretty pissed off wi me sen, I can tell thee)

Tuesday 18th June 2018

I missed out on writing today, spent far too much time and energy on researching fucking non-alcoholic drinks and the sugar content. Whilst I haven’t had an AF beer since Saturday, Pat pointed out that there is more sugar in AF beer than normal Beer, still feeling pretty bloated from being over indulgent on holidays, I got fixated on trying to find the lowest sugar beer.

Plus it didn’t help that I had shared on the group facebook page that AF beers were my go to thing and some clever twat started saying ’ooo I stay away from them theres too many carbs and sugar in them’ then someone else says ’ooo be careful they could be a trigger?’

I drove myself practically mental, and stressed myself out until I realised that the average level of sugar per day is 30grams, and ok, so my fave beer has 3grams, thats not so bad. Plus I’m not going to wine after the beers like I previously did, and drinking beer I didn’t feel the desire to eat chocolate neither, sooooooo AND by being alcohol free I am allowing myself to relax and reflect clearly, take one day at a time and I’ve been so productive at work, without compromising myself, leaving some time left for me.

I had a word wi Mesen 

I have got that used to taking peoples views and opinions into consideration, that I lose sight of what I think and feels right. In fact I was happy until I actually listened to the fuckwits ! Well I am the fuckwit for actually listening, but hey I’m learning.

 

See its not just you …..

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