Well did not want to go for that morning run this morning, alarm was set for 5.30, 2, 10 minute snoozes later and arguing I get me sen outta bed, I didn’t #haveaword I had a full blown fucking argument “wi me sen” .
When I’m feeling sorry for me sen, our old man calls me ‘Mardy Fardy’ this morning I wa like jackal and fucking Hyde. Mardy Fardy vs reasonable Fardy – trust me I’m still not sure who won, or whose winning.
So that serene, time to think run JOG, WALK went a little like this
Laid in bed
Oh fuck off, I’m knackered
Once you’re up, you’ll feel more awake
Christ I could sleep for another few hours
It will be your period! and you stayed up later last night!
Ok, so if I’m tired, have a day off, I don’t have to go out every morning
Yes but you didn’t go out yesterday, and you know what its like, that slippery slope, once you skip 1,2,3 its all down hill
Even if you went back to sleep, you would still feel tired an hour later so you may as well get up!
Fuck it get up
Go for a piss, get dressed, go down stairs i’m still sulking
Im defo not feeling it yet?
Just shut it, get ya top on and take thee tablets, and plenty of water ya piss looked like orange juice this morning
What the fuck is that all about, apart from the drink last Saturday, I haven’t had any alcohol, so shouldn’t be THAT dehydrated
Well apparently everyone’s piss is like that in a morning
Get ya earphones in, get some music on that will make you feel better
GREAT wheres me fucking earphones?
Make a coffee for when you get back
Great where are me fucking ear phones nahhhh
This is when i’m looking for earphones, which I only had in my hands 2 seconds before
Why are they in the fucking draw?
Does it matter?
Music on, trainers on, walk out of the door – still got face on
Still not feeling it
Just walk then! walk all of it if you want? Just do something
Fucking hate periods
Every fucking month, swollen tits, stomach cramps, blood fucking everywhere, its ‘like giving birth to satin’ as our Lauren would say, and fucking men moan when they are ill, try feeling shit EVERY MONTH
Right, your on ya period, get over it, and just keep walking
Well im not running, yet, in fact im not starting until I get to top of the hill
Walk then, you could just do a mile, do a shorter one this morning
Yeh but then I’ll be doing that all the time
Do the normal run then!
I start to run
I wonder if that young lad and his mother will be at the bus stop this morning? If they are should I stop and ask him, where he’s going? Like I said I would last time I was out?
Nah fuck that, not in fucking mood this morning, just smile and say good morning
They are not there
This song is shit
Flick to next one then
Click on me earphones and inadvertently turned music AND earphones off
For fucks sake
Just switch it back on
Yeh but now I’ve had to stop running
Just do it, and run
Ok this song is better
What the fuck is wrong with me this morning?
Stop being so fucking hard on yourself, everyone has bad days including YOU, this is one of them, but it will pass
I ought to write about this, this morning
Yeh well, you don’t have to, juts take it easy, do your run, get back have a coffee and a vape and you can chill, if you want to write you can, stop over thinking things, what will be will be for crying out load
See a guy coming towards me, walking with summit strapped around his knee’s, clearly out for a run, but not yet running
Mmmm he’s dressed for it, he looks the part, but not running is he!
Neither were you, ffs, he’s probably warming up like ‘YOU DO’ and your hardly fucking Zola Bud this morning!
Ok so feeling a little better, christ whats up with me today?
Does anything have to be up?
Yeh but I hate feeling crap, been feeling great lately, I’ve not done anything different?
You might not have, but does it matter? You feeling crap, everyone has bad days, it will get better
What if it doesn’t
It will, trust yourself,
She’s here, her, the ignorant one, I wonder if she will smile or acknowledge me today?
Well if she said anything you wouldn’t be able to hear her, and you can hardly see her she’s that far away
Lady is getting closer, still a little far away, she looks up
Hi, I’m waving, giving her purpose smile
What ya done that for?
Cos I fucking wanted to make a point and wave this morning, instead of doing the passive, eye nod, if she cant say good morning, then I fucking sure can!
Nope tits are still hurting
Im turning running app off, bet I’ve only done about 16 MPM this morning?
Fuck it I don’t care
Oh shut the fuck up, go inside and off load this fowl mood
Ohh I like this song, is it M people?
Right, get ya coffee go straight upstairs and write
So here I am AND that’s the shortened version, TRUST ME you would be here all day, in fact I’ll probably fall out wi me sen again, later today. Now done two chapters of the book, now time to focus on Chapter 3 – Early childhood memories. But first I need to get me MARDY Sorry ASS into work.
If you are reading this today I hope your having a better day than me
I don’t really
I do honest
Love Fordy xx