What can I do?

After a restless nights sleep worrying I woke up asking myself “yes I could do without the stress and worry, but its always going to be there, so how you going to take responsibility for yourself and your own emotions in all of this?” So with that, I have been having a word wi me sen. 

Have you ever been asked your advice, you know what you want to say, but you know that if you say it how you want to say it, then you know that it’s not going to be received well? So you try and work around it, trying to give your view without offending or upsetting the other person, because you know what you are going to say is not

  1. what they want to hear? 
  2. they are already in a bad place so you don’t want to upset them more 
  3. you don’t want them to think you are being a heartless bitch? 

But then, if I take this approach then I am not being true to the other person nor myself? But yet I am still left feeling helpless and frustrated that they are going to make the wrong decisions or rash decision that will have longer term implications that they cannot see yet, but they are willing to take the leap, just so they don’t have to deal with “their own” responsibilities?

I have to remind myself that whilst I am preaching about taking responsibility to them I need to do the same for me.  Its not their fault I feel like this, but I do have a choice on how I take responsibility for how I am feeling. So here goes 

I’m a natural fixer, if I see a hole I want to fill it,  don’t like seeing people suffer, if I can make a difference I will have a go, but I need to think about recognising that no matter what I do sometimes my actions are not going to save or help the other persons life, if might ease their current situation, but they are going to have to deal with bigger shit and I wont always be there. 

Note to self – I need to remember and remind myself  I cannot rescue everyone

Unfortunately, I have to deal with fuckwits in my job, I cannot avoid them sometimes, yes its good to have a rant about what twats they are, (this will make me feel better for a little while)  but that aint going to change anything or them for that matter.

Note to self – the world is full of fuckwits they are unavoidable, but I do have a choice about whether or not I am going to allow them to affect my day, so learn to accept fuckwits and work around them 

I’d love to be able to say what I really think all of the time, but the reality is that whether I like it or not, there is a time and place and its not always appropriate. This is a tough one because there are people who I really don’t care about, who I am not afraid of offending. I pride myself on being transparent, but there are times when for the greater good, when reputations need protecting, so this is work in progress 

Note to self – Transparency is a good trait, however being too transparent can also make you vulnerable to others , who will see your weak points and use them against you – because there are some Narcissistic bastards out there. 

I can often forget to put myself first, remind myself that I count, that I have feelings too and by ignoring this only serves to hurt me in the long run.

Note to self – remind myself that I count, I am responsible for me, for my feelings, my actions, my reactions 

 

So on that note, after needing to #haveawordwimesen I also need to get my sorry ass off to work after there is some work that needs doing that I am responsible for

 

Love Fordy

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