Way, way-way back I wrote about a blog about Fuckwits, I also wrote yesterday about preparing to go to court to support my brother in what has been a very long drawn out, emotional custody battle for the final hearing.
My brother has another two days to wait for the final decision from the courts telling him whether or not he has been successful in being granted custody of his three children. When I say custody, this isn’t full time, the children will still have contact and a relationship with their mother, the only thing that will change is that he will take on more responsibility, ensuring the kids get to school, where the kids are not exposed to their mother being comatose on the sofa, or the kids stop calling their family when there is a domestic abuse incident taking place with moms boyfriend, the outcome should the final decision go my Brothers way will ultimately mean the kids are less exposed to negativity.
The decision might have been made had the court had my brothers original statement meaning the social worker wouldn’t have had to go back to their offices for the missing document. But on the positive side, at least it was the same judge overseeing proceedings, the same one who had given his ex-partner, the benefit of the doubt and allowed an additional 3 months to redeem or prove to everyone that she didn’t have a problem with alcohol, that all the allegations whilst were legitimate and founded at the time posed no concern anymore.
The really sad part of all the process was having to sit and see just how ill she looked, she was emaciated, skin and bone, her face and hands were swollen making her body seem odd and out of place. The padded shoulders on her suit jacket could not deny the skin and bone on her arms, there was no amount of contouring that could hide her swollen face or the swollen hands that shook uncontrollably whilst she swiped her phone.
45 minutes later the social worker returned with my brother’s original statement. The statement focused purely on the welfare of the kids and his desire for the mother of his children to seek help for herself and get better for the sake of the kids. The social worker handed a copy of the statement to his ex, who read the statement herself then passed it onto her mother.
I sat and watched the mother read the statement, I then watched as her mother who could have easily been her daughter’s body double toss the statement back to her loudly declaring “What’s he mean, get better? There’s nothing wrong with you!”
I was absolutely incensed, my hands started to shake as I resisted the urge to stand up and scream “are you fucking blind?”. I mean how the fuck can a mother not see how ill their own daughter looks?
But I know why because my brother’s ex had, had a great role model. This is the same women whose husband drove over three miles to bring alcohol to her daughter when my brother had refused. This is the same women who would bring along a bottle of Lambrini to share on her weekly Friday afternoon visit to see her grandkids, this is the same lady who I called on behalf of her daughter at her daughters request to tell her how her own daughters 1st appointment at the alcohol service had gone, who then still denied that she had a problem with alcohol. So I ask myself “how the fuck does the mother of my nephew and nieces even stand a chance with a mother, whose own mother who herself is in denial or a fuckwit?”
The Urban Dictionaries definition of a Fuckwit is “a person who is not only lacking in clue but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire a clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions.” Now if seeing her own daughter physically and emotionally deteriorate over the past few years, then the only thing a person can do is just hold your hands up and conclude that sometimes, you just have to let go, stop trying to change something that isn’t within your power and pursue what is.
This just reinforces my view that #shithappens and sadly sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the shit all you can do is try to manage and mitigate the shit as best you can. There are no winners in this story, regardless of the outcome but hey that’s life #shithappens
Love Fordy x