Whats ​in your filing cabinet?

Another night of stress dream’s, still don’t feel 100%, still need to make some time for myself, regroup my thoughts to a calmer place. Spoke to a freind who has had a lot of crap going off in her life recently, who has been keeping off the radar and feels flat. What do you say to someone who is starting to Question themselves? Doubt themselves? Lost themselves? When you lose sight of being present and are constantly in reactive mode or in constant fight or flight mode. I know a friend who has recently lost a son, another who has lost not just her daughter but her unborn grandchild, someone else who is a bystander having to sit back and watch her grandchildren we mistreated, poisoned against her, someone who only has their best interest at heart. A parent whose son is sleeping in the garage because she doesn’t trust to come back into the house, in fear he will steal from the family again, being forced to enforce some tough love when all she really wants to do is hug her son and make everything better. Make him better acting / reacting out of love for someone you care about, dealing with the misinterpretation and accusation that you don’t care? When in fact you care too much.

How does someone manage those painful feelings and emotions

How does someone remind themselves that they are a good person, when all they feel is a failure 

Learning to try and come to terms with the fact that you are not responsible for other peoples emotions, feelings or actions is one of the hardest emotional battles that any one person can try and overcome. You will have days when you feel solid, self assure and then other days when you are riddled with doubt. You know that the self assured, reasonable you is there within you somewhere but you cannot for the life of you see it or feel it. 

How do you find it again? Often our minds become like filing cabinets, we take in so much shit, but don’t address it, just file in at the back of our minds to sort out at a later date. 

But then the filing cabinet starts to get full, to the point you simply cannot stuff anything else in. Then you reach the point where its jammed and BANG it springs open and all the shit you have been filing, ignoring, comes spewing out. Every now and then we all need a clear out, think about how good you feel when you have just tidied all the house? Its clean, the sense satisfaction you feel, especially if you have been putting it off for a while. We all at some point need to have a spring clean of our personal filing cabinets. 

Emptying or rearranging the filing cabinet 

Take a step back 

Make some time to reflect 

Talk to a friend you can trust 

Offload all the toxic thoughts going around in your head 

Practice some self compassion 

Acknowledge how you are feeling – its ok to feel shit 

Do something different 

Do something for you 

Acknowledge, but them throw away the dead wood (thoughts) 

Sort out some of the unresolved issues, priorities them

Bring the priorities to the front of the filing system 

Your filing cabinet can hold a lot more than you think, but it can only store the stuff that you have had a chance to reflect, acknowledge on before putting back or discarding.  You can store some stuff and come back to it at a later date, if you are not ready to address it, but if you just leave it there without any action then it just gets bigger and bigger. 

The mess does go away the rubbish pile gets bigger and bigger, if you are feeling overwhelmed, just reach out to someone you trust and make a start on sorting out your filing cabinet. 

Love Fordy x

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