What was thinking about this time yesterday isn’t the same as what I am thinking this morning! The thoughts that consumed my mind yesterday have long since gone and are no longer serving a purpose, I was consumed with a sense of validation, victory, smugness, relief that finally someone who has been blagging their way through life just recently, misleading people with lies on social media was finally found out!
I was one of those tempted to react and respond celebrating that the truth was finally out, in fact, I did react, I typed, but then deleted a response many a time, but I never actually pressed the send button, because I realised that I didn’t need to? What purpose would that have served? There were others calling them out on social media, my opinion would have been washed up with all the other negative post of condemnation and hatred from those who have been misleaded and lied to.
Later in the day this person closed down their page, I was relieved that the misleading lies would hopefully now stop. However those feelings of victory didn’t last long because it wasn’t long before my thoughts then turned to the person in question, my anger turned to pity, my happiness turned into shame, because despite all the lies and rumours that had been shed, lies and rumours that potentially harmed others, had now been turned in on the person spreading them. I found myself feeling sorry for “said” person, concerned about their welfare, their mental and emotional state.
Yes, they had done wrong, and no they didn’t deserve my sympathy, they didn’t deserve the time I was spending thinking about their welfare, but I cannot escape the reality that we have all made mistakes before, our own mistakes can turn into burdens that we carry around invisible to the naked eye we can continue to punish ourselves enough, without the punishment of others too.
This person had got themselves wrapped up in a deluded reality that fuelled their ego and sense of purpose that was now unravelling around them and the only person that can sieve through the mess in the wake of the misleading lies is the said person in question.
The story that unfolded yesterday thought me an invaluable lesson, it helped me realise and served as another reminder (once again) that whilst other peoples actions may offend or upset me, I do have a choice about how I react or respond. I am reminded once more that I have no control over others, but I do have some say in how I react and there is a sense of relief in knowing that this person, their actions won’t be consuming my thoughts anymore because I let it go… the saddest part is knowing that the said person in question will never know how I had ever let them get to me? I mean how fucked up is that?
We will never know what others are thinking, after all half the time we cannot make sense of our own thoughts, let alone others. So for now, (until some other fuckwit comes along, because that WILL happen, it won’t be long before someone else starts pushing my buttons) but for now I am going turn the focus from looking outside and starting focusing on the inside, because at the end of the day, what counts is ME.
The power of taking a step back and reflection can never be underestimated, being able to take back some control of my own thoughts instead of allowing others to dictate them is the most valuable commodities we can develop for ourselves, the shit part is that it just takes a lot of practice and patience.
Love Fordy x