Learning to accept and embrace vulnerability

Having felt emotionally and mentally vulnerable over recent weeks and despite all the positive self-talk #Havingawordwimesen, some days it works, I feel fine then boom other days I’m not so fine. You may have noticed that post on here are on the decline and so has my sense of well being.

Some mornings have literally felt like waking up with a hangover, but without the alcohol the night before, which is even worse! at least I could blame the shit feeling on alcohol! I even googled it, and guess what? There is such a thing as an emotional hangover The idea is that the effects of an emotional event can linger for a while after the event actually happens — the same way nausea lingers long after you’ve consumed one too much alcohol.  This event can be anything from an argument with your best friend to a break up with your partner, it could be anything but while the event is over, your head is still reeling and messing with your current emotions. There even been some research into it!

I could relate straight away to the article, thoughts of self-doubt fuelling the internal sense of worthlessness, have tainted me emotionally ultimately affecting how I have reacted or behaved in certain situations. I have felt unable to pinpoint any actual trigger or the source of my discomfort, but deep down know it has been work-related, this is my echelles heal, because I love my job, I love partnership working and the people I work with, and despite this, something still hasn’t been quite right.

I haven’t even been writing, not even in my personal journal, because I didn’t know where to start, but then I came across this quote in a new book I have been reading by Brene Brown, she wrote “nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that’s it’s a waste of time trying to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reactions of the people in the stands….”

And there is was, the words laid bare, I realised that for the past few weeks I had been measuring my own self-worth, based on what other people thought, I what I assumed they were thinking.

I took the advice from the emotional hangover article and decided to write down all the incidents/scenarios’ that had left me feeling pissed off, undervalued and I started to recognise where some of the anger had stemmed from and could clearly see how I had been allowing external factors influence me internally, How much time, precious time and energy on what others thought and not saving anything back for myself and asking myself “what do I think? Or what do I know to be true?”

I had stopped reflecting, checking in with myself, stopped #havingawordwimesen, putting others before myself, going with the flow, I stopped saying NO to appease the status quo, I’d stopped putting me first.

“Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in. Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose;”

“Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brené Brown

We are unfortunately creatures of habit, and sometimes without persistence or practice, we can easily slip back into unhealthy habits, which for me is the negative narrative of self-doubt. I have spent almost three-quarters of a lifetime thinking or believing “that I wasn’t good enough”. So I am trying not to be so hard on myself because that ain’t going to help neither, i just need to remind myself of that daily…

Emotional Hangover 

You think that I strong
But boy are you wrong
I see it in their faces
They know I’m not right

I cannot deny
I’m struggling to cope
The worst part is
I don’t know why

Feel open and exposed
Conflicting emotions
Scared I’ll implode

I know you see my discomfort
Don’t ask me to explain
If I knew I would tell you
Trust me I want to know the same

I try pushing aside
The thoughts and feelings inside
But they won’t go away
They are threatening to stay

I’m sick of the feelings
They’ve outstayed their welcome
I need to be brave
And take a look inside
Because I know deep down
That’s where the answers reside

“But what if I don’t like what I find?”
The vulnerable thought hovers in my mind?
What I do then?
So I tell myself

"Take a good long look in the mirror and...
#Haveawordwitheesen"

#Shithappens to the best of all of us, it is just sometimes some shit is harder to get our heads around!

I share my vulnerability not for pity, but help others understand that they are not on their own, Love Fordy

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We are the superheroes of our own stories

Christ this years I going fast, I am looking at meetings in September and they don’t feel that far away, had a bit of a thick head past couple of days, it is back again? I feel tired more quickly, especially when I have to think. Yesterday the phone and emails didn’t stop, people seeking advice about work or personal issues, I go to meetings and I feel like I am giving all the time, but then every now and then, I get the opportunity to receive, I get the opportunity to take a look into someone else’s life and reminds me that courage is everywhere and it is always a humble reminder as to why I do what I do.

I love it when I get something back, listening to personal shares from individuals who describe how they have managed to pull through some personal adversaries and survived, for me they possessed the courage of lionesses. They were able to admit that they were not totally fixed and that they might never be, but both were thankful that they were breathing and were grateful for the support and guidance provided by our services which helped them to create a new version of themselves and a new life away from the abuse they had been receiving. 

They shared how even after the abuse stopped, it continued internally. How the abusers words like “you are nothing, nothing without me” had become wired into their brain and even though they looked ok on the outside, on the inside the words continued to spin like a hamster on a wheel, they shared how they were trying their best to rewire their own internal narrative and slow down their hamster cage. 

They described how after they had adapted and changed who they were to try and fit the perfect mold, the abuser wanted them to be, losing their whole identity, how they were slowly working on breaking that mold and creating a newer version of themselves. 

As I listened, they replayed the negative narrative. They shared what they thought about themselves, how this made them feel, but more importantly how they reacted, they had been preprogrammed to believe that they were nothing of any worth and how they believed it. They shared of the recovery journey about being more than just leaving the physical abuse, but more about starting to untangled the hardwired thoughts that they now knew as being lies. How they had slowly recognised how their once negative thoughts had turned into assumptions, then had been cemented into beliefs and how they were having to slowly chip away their belief system, replacing and rewiring them on their way. 

The shared how being exposed to new experiences helped them realise that they were actually worth more, that the limiting beliefs they had developed for themselves were no longer true, they were all lies and how one of the hardest parts of their recovery was about learning to accept that they had allowed another person to harm them in that way. They shared how their recovery seemed like a constant cycle of anger, frustration, hurt, shame, excitement or pride. 

But they were determined not to give up. Because they had realised that there was so much more to them that the person or society had made them believe. They were making informed decisions for themselves, based on facts and not just another person or societies word. 

Neither, one of the ladies talked about how easy their recovery had been and that’s because it wasn’t and it still wasn’t but they both shared something in common! And I think that was HOPE It was like they had woken up like a light had been switched on both realising that what was once was the truth, was a lie and they were working on creating their truth.

Hearing their stories I saw myself, their journeys took me back to a place, a time, to a person I used to be. I felt anger and hurt that i thought I had buried long ago and I realised that it would always be there, not as painful, but always be there, but now i was living my best life, despite my past. How my past had made me who I am today and how in many ways, I am now thankful for all the painful lessons I endured, whether they were inflicted by either someone else or myself.

If you are doubting yourself, seek out the stories that inspire, then remind yourself of your own story, your own story of survival and how you have evolved, changed during a time when all you felt around you was doubt and uncertainty and remind yourself that you too are a lion or lioness, that you are a survivor too and have more courage and strength than you ever knew.

So next time you are feeling low, look back and see how far you have come and remember that there is always hope and we are all trying to survive and are also survivors in our own right, we are our own superheroes in our own story.

Love Fordy x

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Life can be like the weather – We can try and predict it but we cannot control it


I see people around me going through their struggles, dealing with their demons and it reassures me that I’m ok, that I’m not alone. That’s not to say I compare, couldn’t and wouldn’t do that, but it is almost comforting, reassuring that I’m not the only person around me who feels like sometimes they are losing the plot, losing the strong sense of self that can come and go, like a carless whim, like a change in the weather, one day you get sunshine and just like that! PHOOF! it’s pissing it down.

Some days can feel like I have got an overcast cloud that stalks me, shading me from the sun, threatening to rain at any given moment and then other days there are there is nothing, only clear skies of clarity or unexpected rainbows that appear after a recent downpour.

I don’t know about you? But I check the BBC weather app on my phone daily which is supposed to predict exactly what the weather is going to be doing day by day, even better it gives you an hour by hour prediction, but that can all change all because a wind from another continent has changed direction, impacting on any plans might have had for that week.

The ripple effect impacts further, even my choice of outfits that I have contemplated wearing for any given day, need to be changed, all of this dictated by the weather, the weather that I cannot control. I could say “Fuck it” ignore the predictions, take a risk? But then I also run the risk of looking a bit of a twat, going to work in summer clothes when is sailing it down with rain, whilst everyone else has umbrellas and macs because they heeded the weather prediction.

Life of late feels like that a lot, I can try and predict my week, by checking my work calendar, check where I need to be, the venue, the topic, I am prepared, I am aware of the pieces of work that need to be completed, I know exactly what to expect (just like the weather app) but then the wind can change direction, there is a new unexpected problem that needs addressing, a meeting has been canceled, or even worse an emergency meeting has been arranged, the need for urgency and pressure can sometimes make me want to run away seeking shelter until the shit storm passes.

I ask myself would I prefer to move to a sunnier climate, a place where there is guaranteed sunshine all year round, but then that would bring different challenges, being too hot! Christ, I would be screaming out for a fresh northerly wind to keep me cool. The reality is that we cannot win, but we can try to accept that change is inevitable and any plans or aspirations can be pissed on at any given time, but we can try to be prepared.

I don’t share on here, for sympathy (christ, that’s the last thing I want) I share because I want others to realise that when there is a shit storm brewing or if the heavens have opened pissing on our parade, that, it is ok, we all get caught out now and then!

Life is like the weather, we have little control over it, but we do have control of how we adapt to it. I don’t want to be that person who sits in a puddle of self-pity, blaming the weather for me looking like a drowned rat, I want to be that person who doesn’t care if I’m soaking wet, I want to be that person who has the sense of resilience that means I don’t care or it doesn’t matter what the weather is doing, because I know I’ll be ok. I might get soaked from time to time, but I can always dry off or I can replace my damp clothes.

So if we cannot predict or control the weather, what can we do?

Acceptance – we can start by accepting that we cannot control the weather, but we can try and predict (we might sometimes get it wrong) but we can only try our best to be prepared for what is coming our way.

Instead of moaning or complaining to a complete stranger at the bus stop about the weather, seek out people who get you, surround yourself with those who understand you, those who will give you the space to work through your thoughts, let you moan about the weather without judgment. Those who provide shelter from the storm and will help you dry your heavy damp clothes.

Be more prepared, carry a brolly or a Mac or even some suncream? (just in case?) check you have them on you at all times, learn to accept that sometimes you might have left them at home? (I think I have left mine at home a few times, just of late) And yes sometimes its a ball ache carrying it around, but at least you know you are ready, prepared and have the tools to protect yourself whatever the weather!

Take shelter from the storm, take a break from society, from the press, social media, negative people who rain on your parade, make time for you to collect your thoughts. #Haveawordwitheesen

Look out for rainbows or create your own – do a gratitude list, remind yourself of all the colourful and meaningful things you already have, focus on what you have got, focus less on what you have not.

But more importantly learn to recognise and accept that you are not alone, the weather affects everyone, we cannot always predict the weather. Ok, a little rain might piss on your parade from time to time, but that’s ok we all get caught out sometimes and don’t forget the rainbows…

Love Fordy x

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Practicing being true to myself

Practicing being true to myself has been extra hard this week, my heads been in a mess and truly up me arse. So much so, after being awake since 4 am unable to switch off, I stepped into the trusty trainers and took me sen for a morning run. I’m glad it’s Friday, christ I am ready for a break!

I came up with the ramble below, which helped me to really recognise, but more importantly, acknowledge just how I have been feeling. Pushing shit down or holding it within, only serves to make me feel worse. It’s all too easy to lose track of who we really are and lose ourselves in other people agendas. This week for me has been a stark reminder of the importance of retaining a sense of worth and being true to ourselves as much as we can.

 Letting it out

 Frustrated and lost 
 No energy to spare 
 I’m ready for a break
 Fuck it, I wish I didn’t care

 Seeing things differantly
 The games that people play 
 In a world of Bureaucracy
 I just want to run away

 I’m sick of the promises
 That never come 
 Playing the hero for one day
 Whilst the real heroes slave away
 
 Walking alongside tin men 
 Without any heart
 I need a toto
 A trustworthy friend 
 Who will walk by my side 
 And defend me till the end
 
 I don’t want to be the witch 
 Full of anger and rage 
 I need Dorothy's shoes
 I want to be whisked away
 
 I’m tired, I’m disheartened 
 Of the games people play
 Maybe its time to hang up me boots
 Time to walk away
 
 Time to take a step back
 Get myself back on track
 Walk away from the fight 
 And let them be
 I think Its time I focused 
 On just being me 

Thanks for listening, much love, Fordy

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#Havingawordwimesen isn’t​ just about dwelling on the past, it’s​ about re-writing it

Our brain is more powerful than we give it credit for and what we think consciously and unconsciously can have an impact on how we see ourselves, how we personal and how we feel about ourselves. I came across this quote recently and it got me thinking about my own limiting beliefs

Limiting behaviors originate from limiting beliefs. Our beliefs form the basis of our experiences and how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. When our beliefs are limited, we limit our perception and experience of what is possible. It doesn’t matter if those beliefs are false. As long as we believe them, they will accordingly impact and mold our perception of experience. The more limiting our beliefs, the less powerful we feel.”  Edward Morler.

I have tonnes of them, some I have overcome others, pop up from time to time, I tend to notice these more when I am putting things off or avoiding something.  I recently private messages people I knew from my linkedIn if they would be willing to provide me with a recommendation for my profile. I had been putting this off for ages, thinking it was a little narcissistic and a little self indulgent, plus I sometimes feel uncomfortable with positive feedback, but I know that this is only down to my limiting beliefs. People often say I reflect too much, I think they think I am living in the past, butting actual fact what I am doing is rewriting the limiting beliefs from my past to make me a better person, someone who cares not just about others, but also myself.

For example one of my limiting beliefs is “I’m not good enough” now this is a BIGGY for me and it’s one of those limiting beliefs that pops up more often than I care to admit.

After tentatively private messaging a few people I knew I took a leap of faith and asked if they would be willing to write something on my profile, I was touched with the responses, here are a few… 

Tracey, to use the jargon, is a completer/finisher with lots of ambition to make the world a better place. Every task she takes on, she does so with the determination and enthusiasm to make it the best of its kind. In the background is her experience of having been substance dependent, a carer for of people who were substance dependent and all the emotional and life struggles it involves. If skill, experience and hard work isn’t enough, Tracy also cares deeply for those caught up, in one way or another, in substance misuse.

Tracey is passionate, dedicated and believes the best in others even when the going gets tough. She’s also a champion for recovery, and having worked within the drug and alcohol misuse field for many years, Tracey remains a consistent advocate for inclusive and user-led service development.

Airnt they lovely and guess what? Because these have come from people I know well, because I trust them, I am more inclined to believe and learnt to accept what they see in me, they will help remind me and serve me well whenever old limiting beliefs rise to the surface, I have something to replace that shit negative limiting belief.

There are a lot of people who don’t even realise that it is their own limiting beliefs that are holding them back. They will blame those around them, or blame their circumstances, when in fact it’s probably got more to do with what they are thinking, which will then determine have they behave and react to situations. 

Over the years I have started to take on more risks and trying new things, but it hasn’t been easy for every new risk comes the self-doubt, the self-questioning “am I good enough? What if it goes wrong? I mean I have made mistakes in the past right? I’ve fucked up before? “

Our limiting beliefs are generalisations that we accept as truth without any positive proof or knowledge. Limiting beliefs can suffocate our personal potential, that’s why if I find myself struggling or procrastinating I will search for a limiting belief, and guest what?  I always find one or two that’s why #Havingawordwimesen helps me to figure out which one is trying to raise its ugly head…

  • I’m not good at this.
  • Others can do it better than me.
  • I’m not experienced enough.
  • I’m not smart enough.
  • I’m not important enough.
  • I’m too old.
  • I don’t have the time.
  • It’s too hard.
  • I don’t deserve success.
  • This is just “the way it is.”
  • I have no control over this.

Some of our beliefs have been groomed and nurtured from childhood into adulthood and can hold us back, but if we are aware of them, then at least we can do something about them, but this takes time and practice and the practice is worth it because our limiting beliefs can 

  • trick you into not trying.
  • stops you from taking risks.
  • keeps you where you are.
  • obstructs your growth.
  • keeps you repeating negative patterns.
  • prevents you from taking responsibility for your life.
  • prevents you from going after your dreams.
  • encourages procrastination.
  • gives you an excuse for not doing what you really want to do.
  • fills you with doubt and fear.
  • prompts you to find “evidence” to support it.
  • stops you from imagining the possibilities.
  • makes you feel negative and discontent.
  • prevents breakthroughs.

If you are doubting yourself or feeling down, ask yourself, what limiting beliefs are holding you back?

Remember, if you would like to subscribe to more post, please go to https://www.shithappens.me.uk/contact/ and sign up, If you liked the post please share, if you didn’t, then do nothing and that’s ok too, Love Fordy x

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Personal development is part of human nature- going back to basics

I love teaching and facilitating groups, I started out running workshops whilst working at Kickback a day rehabilitation program for people addicted to substances. I love seeing peoples faces when “the penny has dropped” when they might have recognised, lets say “a limiting belief” that they had carried around with them for neons, that has been suffocating their self esteem,  or when they start seeing themselves in a different light, being able to unravel and make sense of who they are and how they got to where they were at, exploring and trying/adopting new strategies that make sense to them, seeing them putting their new knowledge into practice and moving forward with their lives. PRICELESS

I ran the basic counseling courses at Sheffield college, where attendees had aspirations of being counselors but what they didn’t realise was that the very basics of learning to be a counsellor you must first understand yourself, what makes you tick? being mindful about your own thoughts, developing your own strategies for helping others is “essential” and quite often I see soooo many people in the caring field who put the needs of others before themselves. 

So I am excited to announce that I have been collaborating with my good friend Mick Holmes on designing some workshops. We are going back to basics, using some of our shared learning (personal and professional) over a combined 50+ years of working with others but more importantly working on ourselves and are going to be sharing it in our own unique, no nonsense, jargon free workshops.

As you get older, it is all too easy to get in a rut – with fixed viewpoints, stuck emotions, ways of being that others can see clearly but you just think are ‘right’ and continue to use your safe solutions.

All too often we perceive that our personal development has already ended by the time we reach adulthood. After all, we’ve ‘grown up’ and know enough to hold down a job and if we are fortunate we find our niche and as much as possible solve the problems of survival, then we stick with those solutions, GREAT! But thats not everyone!

Resisting new experiences, taking less interest in new things, or ignoring something new or uncomfortable will keep you locked in your comfort zone, and as you get older, your comfort zone gets smaller and smaller. But in a society forever changing, with so many expectations it can be hard to maintain and the danger is that you can find yourself isolated, left behind, feeling like you have nothing to give, nothing of value! Which is of course BULLSHIT! 

This is harmful because you not only stop doing things that scare you, but you also stop doing things that give you pleasure and the opportunity to find out new things about yourself. A natural trait of humans is to be constantly developing, growing and moving toward a balanced and mature way of being, but yet this is surpassed, ignored way too often. Who we are is determined by who and what we have been and by the person we strive to become. The goal of personal development is to learn and apply what we know about ourselves which will enables us get closer to that mysterious state commonly known as “enlightenment” or a level of “emotional wellbeing”,

Personal development is part of human nature, and yet it is ignored or dismissed as being just for “Hippies” or you are deemed as weak for showing or telling people how you are feeling. It doesnt matter what era or year your were born, It is in our nature to learn and grow, but we are held back by our culture, which is predominantly focused on survival needs, with each of us in competition with others, and our need learn about ourselves is repressed. 

I am for the first time in a long time, excited to have come to the decision to pursue what I love, this isn’t a new career, fuck that I love what I do, call it a hobby? but I have finally given myself permission to pursue something that I truly believe in, something that soothes my soul, helping people grow. 

So on that note, I had better get me ass into gear and get to work, after all the pleasures in life don’t come free! 

Remember, if you would like to subscribe to more post, please go to https://www.shithappens.me.uk/contact/ and sign up, If you liked the post please share, if you didn’t, then do nothing and that’s ok too, Love Fordy x

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Refreshing your Highway Code

There are three keywords to bear in mind when taking to the roads Mirror– Signal – Manoeuvre or MSM. But how often do we apply this in life?

Mirror

  • How do you use your mirrors frequently so that you always know what is behind and to each side of you – do you ever check?
  • Do you use your mirrors in good time before you signal or change direction or speed?
  • How do you make sure you are prepared for when you’re mirrors not being able to cover all areas 
  • Do you look for blind spots. Do you ever look round and check?
  • Are you prepared for other traffic, other road users?

Signal 

  • Should be applied to the direction you intend on taking, signals depend on what you see in your mirrors – do you do this?
  • Signalling too late may not provide other road users behind you with enough time to react, for example; if you are intending on slowing or stopping the car – how do you communicate this? 
  • Signalling too early can give the impression you are taking a turn sooner than the actual turn you intend

Manoeuvre 

  • The manoeuvre part of MSM can be many things from roundabouts, junctions, changing lanes or parking up.
  • You should always be prepared to alter your route depending on circumstances – do you have a back up plan?
  • If driving in an area with potential hazards, pedestrians or cyclists for example, you may need to check the mirrors and blind spot once again before committing to the manoeuvre. – do you ever do this? 
  • Are you prepared to alter your speed or destination even at the very last moment? 
  • Are you aware of Cyclists, pedestrians and other vehicles which can be unpredictable?

We have all experianced our own journey, for me i have

  • Felt like at times I was a passenger?
  • Had times, out of fear I preferred to walk to my destination? 
  • I had a particular destination in mind, but couldn’t seem to find it?
  • I found my destination and it wasn’t what I thought it would look like?
  • Some of my journeys have taken me down some down dead-end roads.
  • I have had to figure out or how many three-point turn’s, or twenty? Are required to turn my car around and start again? 
  • I have hit many roundabouts, going around and around not sure which exit to take? 
  • I’ve gone down streets only to find that they are one way?
  • I didn’t have a map or the resources to get me to my destination
  • I was once disqualified, unfit to drive (because of my mental health)

#Havingawordwimesen is as much about

Having a safe space to park up and explore my journey to date, reflect on the miles I have traveled, Explore, or share some of the missed turnings or wrong turnings, but more importantly – LEARN from them.

When was the last time you refreshed your Highway Code?

Remember, if you would like to subscribe to more post, please go to https://www.shithappens.me.uk/contact/ and sign up, If you liked the post please share, if you didn’t, then do nothing and that’s ok too, Love Fordy x

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Chasing rainbows in a shit storm

We are a society that wants to believe that every story has a “happily ever after” But guess what? cinderella and sleeping beauty are fictional characters THEY ARE NOT REAL neither is all the BULLSHIT all the modern-day fairytales sold to us on social media which are often masked by filters by the way … If I have learned anything In my 49 years of existence it is that #ShitHappens and life ain’t no fairytale, but there is no need to go slit your wrist just yet!

For most of us the dark days, the days when you feel you are in the middle of what feels like a shit storm can tend to blur our vision it can feel like a daily struggle, often rainbows will follow a good old storm or rain shower but it can be hard to see beyond the storm. We also need to remember that sometimes the shit storms have a purpose, they are there to help us learn a lesson.

Working on yourself requires you to do something about it, it just doesn’t happen, you don’t wake up every morning feeling light, happy, ready a raring to go without putting in some effort in beforehand. Rewards come from making an effort, pushing yourself to do something out of your comfort zone, trying something new with the understanding and acceptance that it won’t magically change your life overnight! 

The daily challenge to stay positive, trying not to go into fuck it mode can be and IS hard graft and it’s real. But it’s not all bad, it’s not all doom and gloom, there are some steps and lessons that we can work on that can help us find our rainbows whatever that may look like for you, so whilst you are working out what your happy ever after looks like for yourself, here’s some tips/advice

Tip/Advice 1 – Protect your own mental and emotional sanity above the desire to be the helper/carer. If you have flown recently you are likely familiar with the pre-takeoff safety drill that instructs passengers that in the event of an emergency, place your own oxygen mask over your face before attempting to assist the person next to you. There is a reason for that my friend…. if your mental, emotional and spiritual self is not in a place of wholeness and health you will not be equipped to help someone else heal.

 Tip/Advice 2 – The truth doesn’t matter to those that don’t care. If living a life of truth is not a priority it goes without saying that when confronted with the truth it will have no impact. Sometimes the other party is so narcissistic and self-consumed that they can’t see past themselves and their desire to be “right”. Those that want to be part of your life will find the time, they will bring value to your life and they will make you a stronger and better version of yourself and the BIG ONE is you cannot force people to be your friend and not everyone will like you.

Tip/Advice 3 – Don’t settle for a life with people that cause you pain, insecurity or hurt. Life is hard but life is also a gift. If you study the small print you will see that life has an expiration date. Don’t waste your gift of time on people that won’t fight for you in public and defend you in your absence, Surround yourself with people who are brave enough to tell you the truth, even if you don’t like hearing it sometimes, stop chasing the people that haven’t chased you. Surround yourself with people that get you, understand you and accept your faults an all, after all, we all have our faults we arn’t perfect neither.

Tip/Advice 4 – stay true to yourself. this is a tough one especially when you might still be trying to figure yourself out. You have to keep on reminding yourself that it’s ok not to be ok, it’s ok to be you.

Tip/Advice 5 If you keep doing the things or hanging around people that don’t make you happy then the likelihood is you are going to continue to be miserable. Make time for the things, activities that make you feel happy, this might be making time for yourself, reading, writing, exercising, spending time with those who make you laugh, whatever it is, do more of it, make the time.

Advice 6 – Remember you are not perfect, you are not always right, but by being true and honest with and to yourself you will always find your way out of the shit storm.

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