We are a society that wants to believe that every story has a “happily ever after” But guess what? cinderella and sleeping beauty are fictional characters THEY ARE NOT REAL neither is all the BULLSHIT all the modern-day fairytales sold to us on social media which are often masked by filters by the way … If I have learned anything In my 49 years of existence it is that #ShitHappens and life ain’t no fairytale, but there is no need to go slit your wrist just yet!
For most of us the dark days, the days when you feel you are in the middle of what feels like a shit storm can tend to blur our vision it can feel like a daily struggle, often rainbows will follow a good old storm or rain shower but it can be hard to see beyond the storm. We also need to remember that sometimes the shit storms have a purpose, they are there to help us learn a lesson.
Working on yourself requires you to do something about it, it just doesn’t happen, you don’t wake up every morning feeling light, happy, ready a raring to go without putting in some effort in beforehand. Rewards come from making an effort, pushing yourself to do something out of your comfort zone, trying something new with the understanding and acceptance that it won’t magically change your life overnight!
The daily challenge to stay positive, trying not to go into fuck it mode can be and IS hard graft and it’s real. But it’s not all bad, it’s not all doom and gloom, there are some steps and lessons that we can work on that can help us find our rainbows whatever that may look like for you, so whilst you are working out what your happy ever after looks like for yourself, here’s some tips/advice
Tip/Advice 1 – Protect your own mental and emotional sanity above the desire to be the helper/carer. If you have flown recently you are likely familiar with the pre-takeoff safety drill that instructs passengers that in the event of an emergency, place your own oxygen mask over your face before attempting to assist the person next to you. There is a reason for that my friend…. if your mental, emotional and spiritual self is not in a place of wholeness and health you will not be equipped to help someone else heal.
Tip/Advice 2 – The truth doesn’t matter to those that don’t care. If living a life of truth is not a priority it goes without saying that when confronted with the truth it will have no impact. Sometimes the other party is so narcissistic and self-consumed that they can’t see past themselves and their desire to be “right”. Those that want to be part of your life will find the time, they will bring value to your life and they will make you a stronger and better version of yourself and the BIG ONE is you cannot force people to be your friend and not everyone will like you.
Tip/Advice 3 – Don’t settle for a life with people that cause you pain, insecurity or hurt. Life is hard but life is also a gift. If you study the small print you will see that life has an expiration date. Don’t waste your gift of time on people that won’t fight for you in public and defend you in your absence, Surround yourself with people who are brave enough to tell you the truth, even if you don’t like hearing it sometimes, stop chasing the people that haven’t chased you. Surround yourself with people that get you, understand you and accept your faults an all, after all, we all have our faults we arn’t perfect neither.
Tip/Advice 4 – stay true to yourself. this is a tough one especially when you might still be trying to figure yourself out. You have to keep on reminding yourself that it’s ok not to be ok, it’s ok to be you.
Tip/Advice 5 – If you keep doing the things or hanging around people that don’t make you happy then the likelihood is you are going to continue to be miserable. Make time for the things, activities that make you feel happy, this might be making time for yourself, reading, writing, exercising, spending time with those who make you laugh, whatever it is, do more of it, make the time.
Advice 6 – Remember you are not perfect, you are not always right, but by being true and honest with and to yourself you will always find your way out of the shit storm.