I see people around me going through their struggles, dealing with their demons and it reassures me that I’m ok, that I’m not alone. That’s not to say I compare, couldn’t and wouldn’t do that, but it is almost comforting, reassuring that I’m not the only person around me who feels like sometimes they are losing the plot, losing the strong sense of self that can come and go, like a carless whim, like a change in the weather, one day you get sunshine and just like that! PHOOF! it’s pissing it down.
Some days can feel like I have got an overcast cloud that stalks me, shading me from the sun, threatening to rain at any given moment and then other days there are there is nothing, only clear skies of clarity or unexpected rainbows that appear after a recent downpour.
I don’t know about you? But I check the BBC weather app on my phone daily which is supposed to predict exactly what the weather is going to be doing day by day, even better it gives you an hour by hour prediction, but that can all change all because a wind from another continent has changed direction, impacting on any plans might have had for that week.
The ripple effect impacts further, even my choice of outfits that I have contemplated wearing for any given day, need to be changed, all of this dictated by the weather, the weather that I cannot control. I could say “Fuck it” ignore the predictions, take a risk? But then I also run the risk of looking a bit of a twat, going to work in summer clothes when is sailing it down with rain, whilst everyone else has umbrellas and macs because they heeded the weather prediction.
Life of late feels like that a lot, I can try and predict my week, by checking my work calendar, check where I need to be, the venue, the topic, I am prepared, I am aware of the pieces of work that need to be completed, I know exactly what to expect (just like the weather app) but then the wind can change direction, there is a new unexpected problem that needs addressing, a meeting has been canceled, or even worse an emergency meeting has been arranged, the need for urgency and pressure can sometimes make me want to run away seeking shelter until the shit storm passes.
I ask myself would I prefer to move to a sunnier climate, a place where there is guaranteed sunshine all year round, but then that would bring different challenges, being too hot! Christ, I would be screaming out for a fresh northerly wind to keep me cool. The reality is that we cannot win, but we can try to accept that change is inevitable and any plans or aspirations can be pissed on at any given time, but we can try to be prepared.
I don’t share on here, for sympathy (christ, that’s the last thing I want) I share because I want others to realise that when there is a shit storm brewing or if the heavens have opened pissing on our parade, that, it is ok, we all get caught out now and then!
Life is like the weather, we have little control over it, but we do have control of how we adapt to it. I don’t want to be that person who sits in a puddle of self-pity, blaming the weather for me looking like a drowned rat, I want to be that person who doesn’t care if I’m soaking wet, I want to be that person who has the sense of resilience that means I don’t care or it doesn’t matter what the weather is doing, because I know I’ll be ok. I might get soaked from time to time, but I can always dry off or I can replace my damp clothes.
So if we cannot predict or control the weather, what can we do?
Acceptance – we can start by accepting that we cannot control the weather, but we can try and predict (we might sometimes get it wrong) but we can only try our best to be prepared for what is coming our way.
Instead of moaning or complaining to a complete stranger at the bus stop about the weather, seek out people who get you, surround yourself with those who understand you, those who will give you the space to work through your thoughts, let you moan about the weather without judgment. Those who provide shelter from the storm and will help you dry your heavy damp clothes.
Be more prepared, carry a brolly or a Mac or even some suncream? (just in case?) check you have them on you at all times, learn to accept that sometimes you might have left them at home? (I think I have left mine at home a few times, just of late) And yes sometimes its a ball ache carrying it around, but at least you know you are ready, prepared and have the tools to protect yourself whatever the weather!
Take shelter from the storm, take a break from society, from the press, social media, negative people who rain on your parade, make time for you to collect your thoughts. #Haveawordwitheesen
Look out for rainbows or create your own – do a gratitude list, remind yourself of all the colourful and meaningful things you already have, focus on what you have got, focus less on what you have not.
But more importantly learn to
Love Fordy x